Dear Hollywood, stop ruining my childhood…
I was a kid in the 80’s. I loved G.I. Joe, Transformers, TMNT and He-man. I watched all the shows, knew all the characters and had TONS of the toys. I have mahy great memories and can still talk about them all to this day with fondness.
So I would like to ask Hollywood why they are ruining all those memories? Why do they have to make movies with my childhood memories and screw them up?
Lets just take the latest movie as an example. Transformers. My favorite from when I was a kid. And they plain and simply did not do them justice with this movie.
Now let me do some explaining before you flame and e-mail me death threats. Transformers is FOR KIDS. The shows are there to sell toys to KIDS. Try and remember that part. There is a bunch of transformers cartoons out right now. All for KIDS. Get it yet? They make the kids love the transformers and then they go out and spend crazy amounts of money for the toys.
So a movie comes out and the kids of the world rejoice, including myself. And it was all wrong. Lets look at what was wrong with it.
1. Too many people. This is transformers, and people should not be more than a small supporting roll. We all remember Spike from the old show and the only reason he was there was to create rescue battles. Everyone hated him. He was like Wesley Crusher. But this movie is all about some idiot trying to get some car/girl. Who the hell cares. Show me more autobots damn it!
2. Why the hell do we need a scene talking about masterbation in a transformers movie? Transformers are for KIDS, they do not need to learn about shit like that from a movie. The person who wrote that scene should be punished.
3. No autobot screen time. The reason we all loved transformers was that we knew them. Hell there was more character development in a 30 min episode than this entire movie. So what if Jazz died, he didn’t do anything anyway. No one cared.
4. Giving Optimus Prime a mouth. WTF was that?
5. If a dog peed on one of them, they would have crushed it. Hell I would punt a dog off a bridge of one did that to me.
Now please don’t think I hated it. It looked really great, nice action and whatnot. But stop taking kids TV shows and making them into movies unsuitable for kids! Maybe in the next care bear movie they can all get rabies and run around killing people and teach the kids about oral sex and drugs?
Anyway, sorry for ranting about that. I was really hoping that this movie would be more than what it was. Just a bunch of CGI animations supporting some stupid story about humans does not cut it. Hopefully the next one will actually be about the Transformers.
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Pingback by University Update - Transformers - Dear Hollywood, stop ruining my childhood… — July 19, 2007 @ 6:00 pm
I’m just waiting for them to ruin Thundercats. Although a live action version of Cheetara may be hotter than she was even in the cartoon - depending on who was cast.
Mxx
Comment by murphyz — July 20, 2007 @ 4:47 am
I went into the theater knowing that this movie wouldn’t be the same as what we’ve experienced when we were kids. These Transformers are a new incarnation for the new generations of kids buying Hasbro’s toys. I accepted this and went into the theater not having my hopes too high. But I enjoyed it. I liked everything about it except for Starscream’s design. His combat scenes were great, imo, but I can’t get over how ugly he is.
How I feel about the new Transformers movie is how I felt about the DOOM movie “I’m not going to even hope for hollywood to satisfy my fangirlism of these awesome franchises. Therefore expectations will remain low.” So far that mantra has worked out for me. I haven’t regretted buying my movie tickets yet.
Comment by Lexi_Long — July 20, 2007 @ 6:15 pm
The worst part was when they were hiding outside of his house from his parents. They were just acting stupid… not the Transformers that I know. Trying to make them act funny did not work for me.
There were some good action scenes with some of the best cgi to date. But I agree with your post about Hollywood ruining these classic stories.
Comment by Log Home Builder — July 22, 2007 @ 4:09 am
Tell me about it, I’m still trying to get over the fact that in the Transformers movie they turned Bumblebee into a Chevy Camaro!
Comment by car news guy — July 25, 2007 @ 10:45 am
On the 1. i think that they had to set up a bit of the plot for the first part. There are going to be three movies and so i hope as well that they get more into the robots in the coming additions.
Comment by Online Movie Master — August 13, 2007 @ 9:52 pm